# Who Should be My Executor? | Choosing Who to Control Your Estate [Call Now Click Here](tel:919-659-8433) Click [HERE](https://caryestateplanning.com/contact-us/) to speak with NC’s trusted statewide Estate Planning, Probate, and Special Needs Planning Law Firm! ![Who Should be My Executor?](https://caryestateplanning.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/unnamed.jpg) # Who Should be My Executor? Selecting an executor for your estate is an important task. The executor must be someone you trust, but also someone who won’t be overwhelmed by the responsibility they are being give. In all honesty, the person you choose with not have a realistic understanding of what they’re getting themselves into unless they’ve been there before. Sometimes, they’re not even given a heads up that they’ve been selected to be someone’s executor. It’s not very common that the conversation is even had before the appointment is made. Often, individuals or couples come to my office for their Estate and Wealth Planning Session without having even thought about executor designations. I ask them if they have thought about who should be their executor (or alternate executor, if it’s a married couple), and that’s usually the first time it’s ever come up. They thing of someone they trust, designate them as their selection for executor, and then tell them about it after the fact: “Oh, by the way, I named you my executor in my Estate Plan.” Often people feel obligated to name a close family member as their executor because they think that’s what family is supposed to do for each other. Who else would they name, right? The person you choose should be able to manage their own affairs before taking responsibility for yours. They should be a good communicator and someone who knows or is familiar with your likely beneficiaries. They should understand that probate can take a long time, depending on the complexity of the estate. They should also be willing to include experts when needed: CPAs, atorneys, the decedent’s financial advisor, business and real estate appraisers, insurance professionals, and other. They should be able to stand up to your potential beneficiaries who will certainly pressure him/her to make distributions as soon as possible. Most of all, you need to let them know that they’re going to be your executor before you name them in your will. It’s a lot easier to choose someone else before your Estate and Wealth Planning Session than to amend your will. ### Author Bio ![James P. Kelly, ESQ](/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Paul-Yokabitus.jpg) **Paul Yokabitus** Founder & Estate Planning Lawyer Paul Yokabitus is the founder of Cary Estate Planning, where he helps North Carolina families protect what matters most through wills, trusts, probate, and special needs planning. Known for his “planning, not paperwork” approach, Paul turns complex legal concepts into clear, practical strategies so clients feel informed and confident at every step. He has been recognized as a Business North Carolina Legal Elite attorney and a Super Lawyers Rising Star, and was named to the Triangle Business Journal’s 40 Under 40. A graduate of Campbell University School of Law, Paul lives in the Triangle with his wife, Alix, and their two sons. [Linkedin](https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulyokabitus) | [Avvo](https://www.avvo.com/attorneys/27518-nc-paul-yokabitus-4559734.html) | [SuperLawyers](https://profiles.superlawyers.com/north-carolina/cary/lawyer/paul-yokabitus/42288eac-24f6-4803-b0c2-6ea242c3a96a.html) ## Schedule a consultation 900+ Google Reviews ## How We Help North Carolina Families CARY RALEIGH [Estate Planning](https://caryestateplanning.com/) [WILLS](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-wills-lawyer/) [TRUSTS](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-trusts-lawyer/) [PROBATE](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-probate-lawyer/) [ELDER LAW & MEDICAID PLANNING](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-medicaid-planning-lawyer/) [SPECIAL NEEDS PLANNING](https://caryestateplanning.com/special-needs-trusts/) [POWER OF ATTORNEY](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-power-of-attorney-lawyer/) [GUARDIANSHIP](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-guardianship-lawyer/) [ESTATE ADMINISTRATION](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-estate-administration-lawyer/) [FINANCIAL PLANNING](https://caryestateplanning.com/cary-financial-planning/) [Estate Planning](https://caryestateplanning.com/raleigh-estate-planning-lawyer/) [WILLS](https://caryestateplanning.com/raleigh-estate-planning-lawyer/raleigh-wills-lawyer/) [TRUSTS](https://caryestateplanning.com/raleigh-estate-planning-lawyer/raleigh-trusts-lawyer/) PROBATE ELDER LAW & MEDICAID PLANNING SPECIAL NEEDS PLANNING POWER OF ATTORNEY GUARDIANSHIP ESTATE ADMINISTRATION FINANCIAL PLANNING Cary Office [1255 Crescent Green, STE 200, Cary, NC 27518](https://www.google.com/maps?cid=10586265549256419209) 900+ Google Reviews [Take Our Quick Planning Quiz](https://caryestateplanning.com/contact-us/) Raleigh Office [9121 Anson Way Suite 235, Raleigh, NC 27615](https://www.google.com/maps?cid=14359503740153328567) 900+ Google Reviews [Take Our Quick Planning Quiz](https://caryestateplanning.com/contact-us/) ## Also Read: [![Be Honest. You Just Don’t Care.](https://caryestateplanning.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/unnamed.jpg) Be Honest. You Just Don’t Care.](https://caryestateplanning.com/blog/be-honest-you-just-dont-care/) [![What Happens if My Executor Dies Before I Do?](https://caryestateplanning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/pexels-pixabay-34761-1024x678.jpg) What Happens if My Executor Dies Before I Do?](https://caryestateplanning.com/blog/what-happens-if-my-executor-dies-before-i-do/) [![Executor Series, Part 1: “What the Heck Do I Do Now?”](https://caryestateplanning.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/unnamed.jpg) Executor Series, Part 1: “What the Heck Do I Do Now?”](https://caryestateplanning.com/blog/executor-series-part-1-what-the-heck-do-i-do-now/) Puja Paul and his team at Cary Estate Planning are fully committed to creating a personalized experience to develop thorough and comprehensive estate plans. They value their clients and go above and beyond to make sure that no details are missed. I would highly recommend Paul to anyone looking to create an estate plan. Marylin I was referred to Paul by my Real Estate Attorney and I could not say enough about how exceptional the client service has been from everyone I spoke to. The communication is prompt and I feel like they really took the time to answer all my questions and set things up exactly as I wanted, but also recommended things to make it easier on my family down the line. Lee After attending one of Paul’s estate planning seminars, my husband and I knew we wanted Paul to assist us with our estate planning. His honest, professional approach to this necessary part of life put us at ease with the process. We will continue to recommend Paul and Cary Estate Planning. Jon We had a great experience working with Paul Yokabitus and the team at Cary Estate Planning to set up our Will and Estate Plan. The process was clear and easy, and in the age of COVID, our signing session was very well done, easy, and safe. Tamara The Cary Estate Planning team will make sure that you have the information you need to be confident in your estate planning decisions. I learned so much from videos, a one-on-one in-person consultation, the website, emails, and a newsletter mailed the old fashioned way. The fee is very reasonable given the importance of estate planning. No matter the size or number of your assets, don’t procrastinate like I did! Tony Paul is a masterful attorney. He’s very good at taking your intentions and defining that into a durable Trust and Will. Best of all he is as simple and plain-spoken as you like. Or as fast as intellectual as you may be. It’s all about your your speed and your desired outcomes. Would strongly recommend this firm. ## Trusted Estate Planning Attorney Offices in Cary and Raleigh Serving all of North Carolina Cary Office 1255 Crescent Green, STE 200, Cary, NC 27518 [Get Directions](https://www.google.com/maps?cid=10586265549256419209) Raleigh Office 9121 Anson Way Suite 235, Raleigh, NC 27615 [Get Directions](https://www.google.com/maps?cid=14359503740153328567) Capability to meet virtually to help all NC residents [919-659-8433](tel:919-659-8433) [Contact Us Now](https://caryestateplanning.com/contact-us/) DISCLAIMER: The law firm of Cary Estate Planning cannot and does not represent you until our client intake process is completed. Further, we reserve the right to accept or decline to represent any person or organization in any matter. Nothing on this website should be considered legal advice. Copyright © 2026 Cary Estate Planning. All Rights Reserved. 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(Select all that apply) I own a home or real estate I own a business I have investments, retirement accounts, or life insurance I have children under 18 I have a child or loved one with special needs I’m caring for aging parents (sandwich generation) I’m approaching or in retirement None of the above / just getting started ### Where are you located? Cary / Western Wake County Raleigh / Central Wake County Chapel Hill / Orange County Elsewhere in North Carolina Outside North Carolina --- Source: https://caryestateplanning.com/blog/who-should-be-my-executor/