Disputes among heirs are becoming more common in recent years. Maybe people are becoming more dependent on expected inheritances. Maybe tensions within families are just becoming more common. Who knows. No matter the reason, there are some steps you can taken while you’re alive to avoid disputes after you’re gone.
Communication: Start talking about your estate and your will. You don’t need to go into much depth about it, but you need to notify beneficiaries , at least in a broad manner, what they can expect from your estate. If there are some items that are “spoken for” or that one particular beneficiary has a connection with, make sure that is well known.
Avoid Self-Dealing: If you sense that there will be a dispute between your children as to who gets what, don’t name any of them as your executor. If you do, you’re asking for a fight. Allow an objective, neutral third-party to be your executor and distribute your assets as they see is fair.
Equal is Not Always Fair: The common method of distributing assets equally among your surviving children may not be the most equitable options in your childrens’ eyes. If one of them has taken care of you in your time of need, it may not be the best idea to give them the same share as the children who didn’t help.
Set Out Who Gets What: Making specific bequests can prevent a feud from arising regarding specific items of sentimental value. By setting out who gets what, you can potentially avoid the “Mom said she wanted me to have it” argument.
Above all else, be clear in your intentions and make sure you have an enforceable estate plan. When people are made about their inheritance, the first thing they’ll do is challenge the validity of the will.
Author Bio
Paul Yokabitus
Founder & Estate Planning Lawyer
Paul Yokabitus is the founder of Cary Estate Planning, where he helps North Carolina families protect what matters most through wills, trusts, probate, and special needs planning. Known for his “planning, not paperwork” approach, Paul turns complex legal concepts into clear, practical strategies so clients feel informed and confident at every step. He has been recognized as a Business North Carolina Legal Elite attorney and a Super Lawyers Rising Star, and was named to the Triangle Business Journal’s 40 Under 40. A graduate of Campbell University School of Law, Paul lives in the Triangle with his wife, Alix, and their two sons.
Linkedin | Avvo | SuperLawyers
How We Help North Carolina Families
Paul and his team at Cary Estate Planning are fully committed to creating a personalized experience to develop thorough and comprehensive estate plans. They value their clients and go above and beyond to make sure that no details are missed. I would highly recommend Paul to anyone looking to create an estate plan.
I was referred to Paul by my Real Estate Attorney and I could not say enough about how exceptional the client service has been from everyone I spoke to. The communication is prompt and I feel like they really took the time to answer all my questions and set things up exactly as I wanted, but also recommended things to make it easier on my family down the line.
After attending one of Paul’s estate planning seminars, my husband and I knew we wanted Paul to assist us with our estate planning. His honest, professional approach to this necessary part of life put us at ease with the process. We will continue to recommend Paul and Cary Estate Planning.
We had a great experience working with Paul Yokabitus and the team at Cary Estate Planning to set up our Will and Estate Plan. The process was clear and easy, and in the age of COVID, our signing session was very well done, easy, and safe.
The Cary Estate Planning team will make sure that you have the information you need to be confident in your estate planning decisions. I learned so much from videos, a one-on-one in-person consultation, the website, emails, and a newsletter mailed the old fashioned way. The fee is very reasonable given the importance of estate planning. No matter the size or number of your assets, don’t procrastinate like I did!
Paul is a masterful attorney. He’s very good at taking your intentions and defining that into a durable Trust and Will. Best of all he is as simple and plain-spoken as you like. Or as fast as intellectual as you may be. It’s all about your your speed and your desired outcomes. Would strongly recommend this firm.
Trusted Estate Planning
Attorney Offices in Cary and Raleigh
Capability to meet virtually to help all NC residents
