I get it, not all family relationships are created equal. Maybe you have a daughter who has made some seriously poor decisions in life thus far, or maybe a son who has practically written you off as their parent (or vice versa). I’m not here to judge your relationships. Whatever the reason for the fall-out, if you have a less-than-ideal relationship with a family member, you may be thinking that you’d prefer that they not benefit from your life of hard work. Here are two ways to make sure that doesn’t happen:
Make a Will and Specifically Disinherit Them
If you’ve got assets, it’s your right to decide how they will be distributed after you’re gone. If you don’t make that decision, the state’s rules of intestacy (dying without a will) will control how who gets your assets and in what amounts. If it’s a close family member, like a parent or child, the state’s rules will normally provide an interest to them in your estate. So, in order to make sure that the state’s rules don’t apply, you need to create a will. In your will, leave your assets to people other than the individual you wish to disinherit and include a clause that expresses your wish to disinherit that individual.
This is probably the easiest way to disinherit someone, however, if they would have received an interest in your estate had you not disinherited them, they may file a caveat to challenge the validity of your will – which would result in litigation and more issues with you and that individual. It’s not that common, but the possibility is there.
Remove Assets from your Estate
Another way to go about disinheriting someone is to remove assets from your estate so that you have no assets for your will or the state’s default rules to control. This can be done in one of two ways (or a combination of both):
(A) transfer all of your assets to a living trust. Living trusts can be used, quite effectively, to avoid probate and direct the disposition of your assets in a more structured manner. By using a trust-based estate plan, you will also avoid any will caveats that may have otherwise happened under 1. above; or
(B) title all of your assets: (1) jointly with right of survivorship; (2) in a transfer on death (TOD) account; or (3) in a payable on death (POD) account. These mechanisms also help your assets to avoid probate or estate administration and prevent the potential of a caveat to your will.
However you wish to do it, the worst thing you can do is wait around and do nothing. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.
Cheers,
Paul Yokabitus
Author Bio
Paul Yokabitus
Founder & Estate Planning Lawyer
Paul Yokabitus is the founder of Cary Estate Planning, where he helps North Carolina families protect what matters most through wills, trusts, probate, and special needs planning. Known for his “planning, not paperwork” approach, Paul turns complex legal concepts into clear, practical strategies so clients feel informed and confident at every step. He has been recognized as a Business North Carolina Legal Elite attorney and a Super Lawyers Rising Star, and was named to the Triangle Business Journal’s 40 Under 40. A graduate of Campbell University School of Law, Paul lives in the Triangle with his wife, Alix, and their two sons.
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How We Help North Carolina Families
Paul and his team at Cary Estate Planning are fully committed to creating a personalized experience to develop thorough and comprehensive estate plans. They value their clients and go above and beyond to make sure that no details are missed. I would highly recommend Paul to anyone looking to create an estate plan.
I was referred to Paul by my Real Estate Attorney and I could not say enough about how exceptional the client service has been from everyone I spoke to. The communication is prompt and I feel like they really took the time to answer all my questions and set things up exactly as I wanted, but also recommended things to make it easier on my family down the line.
After attending one of Paul’s estate planning seminars, my husband and I knew we wanted Paul to assist us with our estate planning. His honest, professional approach to this necessary part of life put us at ease with the process. We will continue to recommend Paul and Cary Estate Planning.
We had a great experience working with Paul Yokabitus and the team at Cary Estate Planning to set up our Will and Estate Plan. The process was clear and easy, and in the age of COVID, our signing session was very well done, easy, and safe.
The Cary Estate Planning team will make sure that you have the information you need to be confident in your estate planning decisions. I learned so much from videos, a one-on-one in-person consultation, the website, emails, and a newsletter mailed the old fashioned way. The fee is very reasonable given the importance of estate planning. No matter the size or number of your assets, don’t procrastinate like I did!
Paul is a masterful attorney. He’s very good at taking your intentions and defining that into a durable Trust and Will. Best of all he is as simple and plain-spoken as you like. Or as fast as intellectual as you may be. It’s all about your your speed and your desired outcomes. Would strongly recommend this firm.
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